Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Look down long enough . . .

. . . and you may lose your sense of direction.
Unless you are surrounded by a field of aromatic lavender, which is not a bad thing, but . . .

{Kim Klassen textures, kkred in hardlight and kkwarm sun in overlay}

"A proud man is always looking down on things and people;
and, of course, as long as you're looking down,
you can't see something that's above you."

- C. S. Lewis

Today, I'm hurting, feeling a bit angry, and a lot perplexed. I know this isn't something
I normally share here but I promised myself that I was going to be authentic when I started this blog.
And occasionally I need to stray from the candy store, because well, life isn't always sweet.

To quote my daughter from a paper she wrote: " Is it at all hypocritical that the the thing that confuses me in life is my own species? You would think that, being a human, I would understand them. But really, humans are the most inconsistent beings I have ever seen." Honestly, I wonder the same thing at times.

Life, between all the beautiful moments is just hard sometimes. Sometimes people make it harder. Sometimes those people aren't the ones you can choose, but the ones that you cannot.

You see, this weekend on facebook I saw a picture of my nephew. He turned 2. It was the first time
I had ever seen him, and it was a picture, on facebook from someone who is not related to him. And in all
honesty I thought I had come to terms with the fact that my brother, for a reason I do not know, does not include me in his life. But it got me, like an arrow in the heart and not the kind from cupid.

Right now, my brother is that proud man, who is unfortunately looking down on things and people.People I love very much.  My nephew is missing out on all the things his father is not looking at above him. I can't help but wonder how he will feel about that when he is older.

And quoting from her again, "Even if you look among your peers, your family even, you will see that all of you are completely different. No two people are the same, but yet we all share a common trait. We all live on this Earth, we all have souls and we all feel pain, happiness, heartbreak, joy. Why do other humans feel the need to cause someone just like them pain and suffering?" Well, that's the million dollar question for which I will gladly take a 2 cent answer.

You know, if you walk long enough with your head down I'm pretty sure at some point you will hit a brick wall. And I can think of only a few reasons why one would really need to look down anyway . . . when you come across a beautiful field of lavender (of course), to avoid stepping in the (BS) from the proud man in front of you, and while in Texas to avoid stepping in a pile of fire ants!

Oh, but most importantly,

"Never look down on anybody, unless your helping him up"
-Jesse Jackson

Love, Kim

P.S. - come back next week, I'll be sharing more on that lavender field . . . happy thoughts only! ; )

kimklassencafe Live, Love, Travel Sweet Shot Tuesday with Kent Weakley Scattered Horizons


Linda said...

I hear ya! I've got a few of "those" in my family too! The best I can do is love them and let them know the door is open on my side. It hurts, it's sad and so much is missed but my life is full of people who reciprocate. That is enough.

Have a better day my friend!


Kim said...

I am sorry about your brother. I really don't know what to say, but know that you are in my prayers.

Anonymous said...

I too have some of that in my family, I guess we all do, but I love your sentiments and appreciate your pain. I also love your photo.....beautiful perspective, depth of field, romanticism and emotion!

NatureFootstep said...

true, being a human is very confusing at times. :)

Janet Bocciardi said...

Thanks for sharing Kim. I think we all have families that are in need of some "work." For some reason I missed out on my nephews when they were young, but as they became adults my brother and his wife let us in. I never understood it, but I know they raised two wonderful men and I think it's because neither of them had a good childhood and were doing all they could to make their nuclear family safe and about the boys. I think they were afraid.

Which makes me think of what a good friend said to me last week - that he believes all problems people have can be traced back to fear. It's identifying the fear and dealing with it that will set you free.


Light Trigger said...

Great sharing! And great image as well!

Light Trigger: Texture Tuesday

Kathryn said...

Families and close friends are often the ones with the ability to hurt us the most. Hopefully that divide will lessen over time and your nephew will get to experience what an amazing, loving and generous hearted soul you are. As for lavender fields they are my idea of heaven . . . I LOVE LAVENDER. xoxox

Jaymi said...

beautiful shot, and I love that the focus is on the lavender. I went to a lavender field recently too--it was covered with bees!

Patti said...

You share all you want!
My husband has a whole family of those who look down upon us. He has held his feelings back for a long, long time & when the opportunity finally presented itself for him to open up to his parents' & share - well, let's say that things have gone from bad to worse.
It's hard to watch. We've prayed & prayed about it, and with God's help we move forward, heads up & facing forward, not held so high as to look down our noses upon them, but to move forward w/o hurting ourselves or anyone else.
It's can be a sad world we live in at times, but then walk through that "lavender field" and you can remember what a wonderful world we truly do live in!

Deanna said...

Ahh big hugs for you, my friend. I am so sorry that your brother has not opted to share his life with you....he is missing out big time and I know you would be the best Aunt Kim ever. Sometimes families just don't get it...can you see me shaking my head. Your lavender field shot is stunning, and take solace in the fact that you are loved by many!!

Molly said...

I so agree that a good blog needs to reflect the good and the bad bits of life. It makes it more real I think.

I love the last quote... and your image is very beautiful. I hope in the end you find the answers you seek.


Danielle said...

What a lovely photo and a lovely glimpse at the authentic person that you are. I have 4 other siblings that have chosen to not acknowledge me as their sister...forgiveness has eradicated the anger and bitterness that was the initial reaction. Now, all that remains is a sadness that never goes away...especially like you....when I see photos from family members that I am close to....appear on FB...in regards to my siblings families...they are strangers to me, as I am to them...but for whatever reason, God has placed us on this journey and he has wrapped an opportunity up in the sadness...we just have to be patient with ourselves. Sending a hug your way...I understand what you are feeling.

Andrea Dawn said...

Appreciate your vulnerability here, Kim. I have experienced some of that and know others currently in that type of situation . . . how heartbreaking when people choose to lock us out of their lives with little or no explanation. Praying that God opens the way to be reconciled with your brother and his family.

Lovely, lovely lavender field shot, by the way.

terriporter said...

Oh, Kim, I can so relate to what you are saying. My husband's sister chose to cut us out of her life and that of her three children several years ago and it still hurts. I also recently saw a photo on FB of the children of my niece and nephew and the fact that I can't have them in my life is very painful. We were so close for so many years and it is impossible to understand how someone can do this to their own family. But what can we do? I feel sorry for her that she has made this choice but I can't change it. I hope it helps knowing that some of us have gone through the same thing. Big hugs to you.

Sandy said...

I have to comment on this situation even if I haven't done the Texture Tuesday is awhile. My Brother does not talk to me either. In fact it's been a couple of years now, in January it will be 3 years. We used to be so close. He turned against me for not reason at all while we were attending a family members funeral out of State {of all things}. He was so cold and so cruel, I didn't know him anymore.

I think a lot of it has to do with jealousy. What type of jealousy I'm really not sure, but I don't know what else it could be. I could write a book on the subject and I will admit that I am a very sensitive person and I have to add that I am the kindest person I know, and I could never hurt anyone they way that I've been hurt, it's just not in me, and to begin with, I wouldn't even know how.

So keep your chin up and even though I know it hurts, try to be happy ♥

here's a link to some great quotes that made me feel a whole lot better:


Blessings ♥

Sandy said...

please forgive my typos! I should have read it before I sent it :)

you know sometimes family can be real jerks !

Kathy said...

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this situation. UGH. Family!!!!!! Such blessings AND such misery can come out of the same familial unit...isn't that amazing!!??!!

Marilyn said...

I appreciate your honesty and willingness to appear vulnerable. My only sibling and I are estranged and there are times when I long to have a relationship but I know it's not to be. Amazing how many families cannot seem to have positive relationships. I agree with one of the commenters -- I think it stems from fear.

Nancy Claeys said...

As difficult as it is, we cannot choose our relatives and this situation is more common than you realize. I'm sorry you are not able to reconnect with your brother -- perhaps someday he will realize how short life really is and pull his head out of his, um, lavender field. Lol. Lovely shot dear. xo

Deb Crecelius said...

You and your daughter are not alone.
Many of us think this same way...
life, at times, can be hard.
Why cripple ourselves and those who love us
by our own [thoughtless] actions?
On a bright note, LOVE you photo.
Keep looking up to Him who always shelters us.

Viv (modifica) said...

What a brave and honest post Kim, I have a dear friend who is estranged from her son and has never properly met her 2 little granddaughters . I say to her you can't pick your family like you can with your friends just know that their are people out there who understand ....

Sherri B. said...

Oh Kim, family is so complicated, isn't it? My heart goes out to you as you deal with this...I think every person on the planet can relate in some form to what you're saying. I know I can. Sending you good thoughts...that lavender photo is beautiful!

Linda R said...

Sometime life can be so hard. When I was young my little sister and me were so close. And now I haven't seen or spoke to her in years. It really is sad and it does hurt. This is such a heartfelt post and Big hugs go out to you.. I LOVE you photo.

Linda/patchwork said...

I'm so sorry for your pain. For you and all involved.
Sometimes families are a mystery. This appears to happen in a lot of families...sometimes for reasons nobody can remember.

On a lighter note...your photo is lovely.

Gina @ Gigi Marie Photography said...

Oh how I love lavender- but I agree, I could do without the fire ants.

Nadege, said...

What a beautiful field of lavender...I would love to go there.

The Artful Diva said...

I saw some amazing lavender fields in France - so beautiful!

Lisa Gordon said...

This is truly very sad, Kim, and I am so sorry things are the way they are. In the end, family is truly all we have. I hope in time, things change.

Liz said...

WOW Kim... just as I said on the previous post "I really needed this today". Then I read this one!! And BAM... someone who can understand what I am going through. I am actually in the middle of typing a "serious" post myself about exactly the same thing!
Only diference is, for me it's my son and my 2 grandchildren - one I met for 5 weeks (he's 2 now) and the other I have never met at all. I saw a family shot of my son, his partner & children on Facebook via someone else not related and it cut my heart to the core. It hurts so deeply like a knife in the heart and I can't help but feel for my grandchildren having no contact at all with their Nanna (me) and their Aunties & Uncle (my daughters & my youngest son). We were an incredibly close family before my son walked away for good. We havent seen them in 18 months.
I feel for you more than I can express. And I'm sorry you are going through this. I can't offer any suggestions, as I have no idea how to deal with it myself.
As Lisa said above... in the end family is all we have.
You are in my thoughts and prayers xxoo

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