Life seeking life . . .

I have at times called myself a finder of things and a seeker of light. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm finding things or if they are finding me, or maybe it's because on some days I have just enough courage to show up and we somehow meet in the middle.

The truth is, I don't always... have the courage to show up, that is. Sometimes showing up is just plain hard.

And about that light, it's not so much what comes from the rays of the sun or that golden hour, but what comes from His light. What I'm seeking is that light in all things. That deep spiritual connection that illuminates the path that on occassion can feel like it's traveled in the darkness.

This summer I feel like I lost my way a bit. The path just didn't feel as illuminated, not because the light wasn't there, because His always is....but because even though I looked I just couldn't see through the noise. My focus was off and my depth of field was too narrow.

I felt helpless.

I felt quiet.

I felt a little angry.

I felt a little sad.

I felt a little numb.

I was distracted.

As I mentioned in June, my sweet boy ended up in the hospital due to an abscess from a staff infection on his face. IV antibiotics and a plastic surgeon to drain it. But all that inflammation, well, it doesn't go away overnight and neither does the scarring. And after this last year and a half with his diagnosis of a rare form of juvenile arthritis, a heart scare, a bone marrow biopsy, a rare leg bleed and this . . . it's just a lot for a parent to process let alone a 17 year old.

We got home he didn't go anywhere this summer...I mean anywhere!

Not out with us,
not with friends,
not to strength and conditioning,
not to get his hair cut,
no where.

It's so very hard to watch your child try to navigate a chronic illness let alone the territory of being a teenager. It's so very hard as a mom, a parent, even if I'm not a control freak to not be able to make it better.

Yeah, that realization that I. can't. make. it. better.

Suddenly I found myself not wanting to go many places, even places that he wouldn't have gone anyway. Because it just didn't feel right for him to be home by himself.

I didn't write,
I didn't edit,
I rarely made it to my computer.

And then it happened. A couple of friends would stop by, then he went fishing and then football started. And little by little I saw glimpses of him returning to his old self. And just like that I felt my heart grow three sizes.

And yesterday, something clicked for me. I can't explain it really. I don't even know if this will make any sense. It was chapter 9, Life Seeking Life, in the book God Is at Eye Level.

I was at Starbucks...{I hadn't been inside all summer with my books and journal.} I found myself nodding my head, feeling like she had eavesdropped on my thoughts. How she is drawn into the pulse and heart beat of the world around her and to its pain and heart wrenching passions, and how she cries, in joy, at the things she witnesses.

Yes, yes, and yes.

She went on to tell the story of  a day when she was taking photographs along a wooden boardwalk when she heard what she thought were footsteps. When she finally turns to look it's a fawn that had been following her and when she reached out he put his sweet nose into her hand. By this time I'm starting to pack up because I feel a good cry coming on.

...deep breath

Here she was out looking for life and it found her! And you know what? That happened to me all summer, with the dragonflies especially. I may have been distracted by some of the noise that I probably created for myself, maybe even a roadblock, but was awake enough to witness those slivers of light. Literally, as it danced across their wings....like the stars light up the night.

Our creator places these things in our paths in hopes that we will take notice, that we will pay attention and send it back out into the world. We are to be receivers and givers. We just have to listen with our eyes and our hearts through all the clutter or we'll miss it.

Life seeking life...that totally happened from my front porch. Photography is like "home sweet home" when our hearts are aligned with spirit, present in the moment at hand, open to the wonder of it all.

Dragonfly Abstract

"The edge of light"

Hallelujah, I think I'm back!
Houston, we have a safe landing . . .

Love, Kim


sharing with Little Things Thursday, Thursday Favorite Things, Friday Finds

The three S's in my summer

{KK 511}

From my front porch . . . simplicity, silence and solitude.

Simple . . . a state of mind. Not complicated, not always easy, but definitely not empty.

Silence. . . music for the soul. Not necessarily the absence of sound, but of noise that disrupts the contemplative mind.

Solitude. . . a state of being alone. Not lonely, but refreshing the mind, cultivating a relationship with oneself and nature.

Yep, the three s's were my motto for this summer when I wasn't in the crazy house taking care of caterpillar business. I've lost count, but I'm sure I've released more butterflies this summer than last. There has been more disease and predators to deal with too. My last batch of about 70 was released last week and I already see momas in the patch. The milkweed has finally gotten some serious growth but not for the amount of new eggs I see being laid.

I may also need someone to throw me a rope to climp out of the never ending photos to edit. I don't know why I do this to myself. It took me days just to cull and download photos from 3 full memory cards. But, I have photos of emerging butterflies, the pupation, and a caterpillar coming out of his egg!

I'm going to be busy . . . send chocolate! lol

We have a new theme over at Focusing on Life, where you can also find me today . . . it's going to be a fun month!

More later,
Kim


Texture Tuesday, Sweet Shot Tuesday

Dear Friends . . .

{KK 511}

"All of us are watchers - of television, of time clocks, of traffic on the freeway - but few

are observers, everyone is looking, but not many are seeing."  - Peter M Leschak

. . .  I know I've barely been here this summer, but I have been observing many beautiful

and wondrous things from my front porch. 

In fact, I've been doing so much observing {and participating} that it has left little time

for editing...I must get busy as I have much to share, and a monarch series to continue.

The past few weeks, I've literally been knee deep, okay maybe just ankle deep, but deep 

non the less in caterpillar frass - fancy name for caterpillar poop! lol

It. has. been. a. full. time. job.

I need a sign for my front porch/sidewalk that says, "CAUTION, Caterpillar crossing!"

I've found them on my front door frame, crawling on the front porch, crossing the sidewalk,

on my pantry door, and one that pupated on the edge of my dining room table, whew.

Currently on the farm; about 45 monarch chrysalids, about another 20 something monarch caterpillars,

10 queen chrysalids, 3 black swallowtail chrysalids, 8 - one week old polydamas swallowtail caterpillars and one giant leopard moth caterpillar! 

Two a day football practice has started, the college girl goes back this weekend, and school starts

for the football boy next Monday.

That means I will be coming out of hibernation shortly thereafter . . . 

I hope you have had a wonderful, restful, fun filled summer!!

Love, Kim

Texture Tuesday, Sweet Shot Tuesday

This finally happened . . .

"The greatest gift of the garden is the restoration of the five senses."

~ Hanna Rion


Big, huge, sigh . . .
I can hardly believe it's been a month since I've been in this space.
And,
I can hardly believe that we just got the flower garden planted, in mid July!

But none the less, it really makes my heart happy to see all this color, and well,
they were 50% off. That sale usually happens at the end of May, but I suspect
our lingering spring with cooler temps pushed it back. And you know, I just wasn't
about to miss out on that sale, so my patience and I hung in there.

Coneflower, angelonia, pentas and salvia. Black eyed susan, gomphrena and zinnia's.
Purples and pinks, oranges and red. White, yellow and blues.

I had to move the birdbath closer to the sidewalk so I can empty it every night...you know, mosquitoes.

And I have had more fun making dreamy Monet-ish photos of this space.

{KK pinit8)

There have been many visitors, swallowtails, gulf fritillaries, monarchs, skippers, painted ladies, and even a question mark. No, really, that's the name of the butterfly....there is even one called a coma.

I've been trying to live simple in between complicated and unexpected.
But it takes a little practice,
to make new habits,
to revel in the sometimes overlooked moments
ones that no matter how small are significant and desire our consideration.
To appreciate them,
and to linger with all five senses.

I'm also over at Focusing on Life today. A very short story about one day last summer . . .
Please come on over and join me, us!

Until next time,
love, kim

sharing with Texture Tuesday, Sweet shot Tuesday