Life seeking life . . .

I have at times called myself a finder of things and a seeker of light. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm finding things or if they are finding me, or maybe it's because on some days I have just enough courage to show up and we somehow meet in the middle.

The truth is, I don't always... have the courage to show up, that is. Sometimes showing up is just plain hard.

And about that light, it's not so much what comes from the rays of the sun or that golden hour, but what comes from His light. What I'm seeking is that light in all things. That deep spiritual connection that illuminates the path that on occassion can feel like it's traveled in the darkness.

This summer I feel like I lost my way a bit. The path just didn't feel as illuminated, not because the light wasn't there, because His always is....but because even though I looked I just couldn't see through the noise. My focus was off and my depth of field was too narrow.

I felt helpless.

I felt quiet.

I felt a little angry.

I felt a little sad.

I felt a little numb.

I was distracted.

As I mentioned in June, my sweet boy ended up in the hospital due to an abscess from a staff infection on his face. IV antibiotics and a plastic surgeon to drain it. But all that inflammation, well, it doesn't go away overnight and neither does the scarring. And after this last year and a half with his diagnosis of a rare form of juvenile arthritis, a heart scare, a bone marrow biopsy, a rare leg bleed and this . . . it's just a lot for a parent to process let alone a 17 year old.

We got home he didn't go anywhere this summer...I mean anywhere!

Not out with us,
not with friends,
not to strength and conditioning,
not to get his hair cut,
no where.

It's so very hard to watch your child try to navigate a chronic illness let alone the territory of being a teenager. It's so very hard as a mom, a parent, even if I'm not a control freak to not be able to make it better.

Yeah, that realization that I. can't. make. it. better.

Suddenly I found myself not wanting to go many places, even places that he wouldn't have gone anyway. Because it just didn't feel right for him to be home by himself.

I didn't write,
I didn't edit,
I rarely made it to my computer.

And then it happened. A couple of friends would stop by, then he went fishing and then football started. And little by little I saw glimpses of him returning to his old self. And just like that I felt my heart grow three sizes.

And yesterday, something clicked for me. I can't explain it really. I don't even know if this will make any sense. It was chapter 9, Life Seeking Life, in the book God Is at Eye Level.

I was at Starbucks...{I hadn't been inside all summer with my books and journal.} I found myself nodding my head, feeling like she had eavesdropped on my thoughts. How she is drawn into the pulse and heart beat of the world around her and to its pain and heart wrenching passions, and how she cries, in joy, at the things she witnesses.

Yes, yes, and yes.

She went on to tell the story of  a day when she was taking photographs along a wooden boardwalk when she heard what she thought were footsteps. When she finally turns to look it's a fawn that had been following her and when she reached out he put his sweet nose into her hand. By this time I'm starting to pack up because I feel a good cry coming on.

...deep breath

Here she was out looking for life and it found her! And you know what? That happened to me all summer, with the dragonflies especially. I may have been distracted by some of the noise that I probably created for myself, maybe even a roadblock, but was awake enough to witness those slivers of light. Literally, as it danced across their wings....like the stars light up the night.

Our creator places these things in our paths in hopes that we will take notice, that we will pay attention and send it back out into the world. We are to be receivers and givers. We just have to listen with our eyes and our hearts through all the clutter or we'll miss it.

Life seeking life...that totally happened from my front porch. Photography is like "home sweet home" when our hearts are aligned with spirit, present in the moment at hand, open to the wonder of it all.

Dragonfly Abstract

"The edge of light"

Hallelujah, I think I'm back!
Houston, we have a safe landing . . .

Love, Kim


sharing with Little Things Thursday, Thursday Favorite Things, Friday Finds

Foto Friday - Changing Perspective

Frustration, after having a minor temper tantrum can go from the potential prevention of a satisfying
activity to the realization of a beautiful thing.
My frustration came from not being able to capture the detail in the close-ups I desired in the low light
of the setting sun without creating a blurry photo.
So, I diverted to my 50 mm lens which allows me to create images in low light because of its large aperture (lens opening), which also gives a narrow depth of field creating a lot of bokeh love or intentional background blur. The more wide open the lens, the more
bokeh there will be creating a dreamy and somewhat dramatic abstract photo and in some cases almost completely dissolving your subject and replacing it with colors and shapes.

My goal, especially for the first set of images is to share with you a recognizable subject in a way that you may not have viewed it before.
Something we may think of as ordinary can suddenly be seen as extraordinary just by changing our perspective.

So, you know you weren't going to get away without some interesting facts, right?

Spiders can create a variety of different silks that have different purposes and functions.

(Which is why they don't stick to their own webs)

They release their silk from spinnerets in their abdomen, and oddly enough it is actually liquid in form until it's released and it immediately takes a solid form as soon as it is exposed to air!

This happens to be an orchard spider, which is an orb weaver.

An example of how just slightly changing my position can change the affect of the image.

This one reminds me of Christmas lights. . .

With the increase of rain, I have started to see a slight increase in dragonflies but I'm sure as the mosquito

population increases so will they.

When using the 50 mm lens wide open there will usually be a sweet spot of focus as everything else blurs.

This photo made the top five for fabulous friday!

In the one below, you can see that the focus was on the dragonflies head . . .

And then in the same position, the focus was moved to its tail . . .

So what I discovered was that my frustration became an instrument in the creating of something entirely different than I had originally envisioned.

I love that I can use my camera as a tool for my

personal expression of the way I view the world - as if by chance a painting were to meet a photograph

in the middle.

And so it goes, I now have a renewed fondness for my 50 mm/f1.8 lens.

My hope is that you felt at least a little bit of the essence of what I was trying to capture

(even though insects may not be your thing)!

 I would love to hear what you see, if you change your perspective . . .

Have a great weekend everyone!

Love, Kim

XO

P.S. for more Photo Friday fun check out the hollie rogue

and here:

Hosted by Cecily and Lolli

Foto Friday - A little of this and a little of that

How does one resist going back again,

where your heart sings

and your spirit soars.

Where nature enjoys her own patience

and angels disguised as dragonflies

escort you along the way.

Yes, I went back. How could I not? The weather yesterday was fabulous - a  very nice 71 degrees as I started on my walk, with a bit of a crisp breeze.  Because we are in a drought most days lately are without humidity and I intend to fully enjoy it while I can. Because as soon as we get some rain, they will come . . .  the mosquitoes!! And they make a walk in a place like this nearly impossible.

You would never know from this picture that Galveston Bay is only a few hundred feet away! And at the end of this trail on the edge where the land meets the water something interesting is happening. The shoreline is receding, and no that's not the interesting part, but what it's leaving behind or should I say exposing, is! Yes, I'm leaving you in suspense but I will give you something to ponder. It's a piece of history that dates back about 1,400 to 1,900 years ago and I promise I will let you know in a future post.

As I get closer to the bay and out into the open spaces I have to cross a very small foot bridge that goes over a small inlet of water and when the tide is in so is the marine life. On this day the water was pretty clear and I watched some blue crabs hurry to hide while these little fish gracefully danced through the water as if they were performing a ballet.

 

As I mentioned earlier, dragonflies, lots of them escorted me along most of my walk. Some flying eye level right along side of me. Red ones, orange ones, blue and green ones, and all camera shy. Then I was able to get only 3 shots of this one before he flew off. With over 200 different odonata (dragonfly and damselfly) species, I believe Texas gets to claim title of dragonfly capitol of the United States.

And then as I was almost finished with my walk I came around the corner to find this squirrel very busy in this grass and all I could see was his tail darting about. But all of a sudden he realized I was there,

stood up, gave me a quick stare and off he went.

I got a shot of this agapanthus at a small park on our main street in town. They only bloom in the

spring and have the nicest true blue flower heads. 

In this same park is this small waterfall feature which was perfect to practice my speed settings.

This one if from Bay Area Design, the view through the door from inside - Love it!!

Have you ever seen a black and white bee - me neither. Have you ever noticed almost perfect circles

cut from some of the leaves of your plants - yes, I have ( especially my roses). Well, this is she, the

female leaf cutter bee and your culprit. And unlike the honey bee she is not a social bee, but solitary

using the cut leaf pieces to construct her nest cells.

I have started planting in my garden and I noticed an immediate increase in butterflies and bees the

moment I brought them home from the nursery.

My daughter needed some more driving practice on the highway so she drove us to Galveston and

 they threw me a bone and let me get out and snap some pics. This is the door handle to the

Ashton Villa, circa 1859. If only this door handle could talk!

The last three times we have gotten up early and I mean early, to watch the sunrise, they have been

very unexciting. All three of them have been almost completely overcast. On this morning, we got just a glimpse of the sun, God's way of saying it's still here. Giving me hope and anticipation to try again. 

I hope you all have a weekend filled with a little of this and a little of that!!

Love, Kim

XO

Foto Friday - A walk, some reflection and a vine called Passion Flower

As tired and exhausted as I have been lately, I needed to take a walk. To walk somewhere that was peaceful, quiet, and where I could reflect on my thoughts.

As I walked I thought about the journey that Jesus took to the cross. What did he see? What did he think about? I thought about how he freely offered his life for ours. How he died in our place on the cross taking our past, present and future sins upon himself. He paid the ultimate price for you and me and he could have saved himself, but endured this suffering because of His love for us.

For this, I am very thankful.

My walk began on a coastal birding trail leading to Pine Gully Park diverse in marsh areas, estuaries and restored wetland. In most areas there are trails on both sides of the marshes where you can cross from one side to the other by an iron bridge. This is the view from one side of the bridge:

Since this area is only about a mile from Galveston Bay the water levels will vary according to the tides. There is an American alligator that lives here, but I have yet to have seen it. And as diverse in nature that it is, I could only hear that which was around me. Everything seemed to be quite elusive on this morning.





That is until I came across this gorgeous dragonfly! He seemed quite happy to have his picture taken, appearing at times to be posing. I could swear that he's smiling in this one!

This dragonfly is a skimmer called Halloween Pennant.

I love the way the light reflected off this grass.

After my walk and a quick lunch with my man I headed over to Bay Area Design in search of some flowers for my garden and to specifically take some pictures of the Passion Flower Vine. The smell alone will capture your heart much less its beauty! But even more interesting is how it got its name.

Spanish Christian missionaries in the 15th and16th centuries named it the passion flower because they believed it symbolized the suffering or "passion" of Christ and his death.









The five petals and 5 sepals which on the passion flower look almost the same, represent the disciples who remained faithful, leaving out Judas the betrayer and Peter the denier. The double row of filaments or Corona was thought of as the crown of thorns Jesus wore. The three stigmas at the very top represent the three nails and the five stamen underneath those, his wounds.

They also noted that the flowers are spent after a single day, the time Jesus was on the cross. And the petals do not drop from the flower but re-close symbolizing Jesus enclosed in the tomb.

Anything that wants to delight in this flowers nectar must work extra hard to get it.

I couldn't resist this beautiful pink zinnia...

One of the things I love about Bay Area Design aside from the flowers and the wonderful people

 who work there is all of their fountains! Not only are they beautiful, but the sound of trickling water is just, well, mesmerizing and very relaxing.

I love how the background in this one turned out - like a watercolor.

I could just spend all day here, flowers, fountains, wildlife - who could ask for more?

(Hmmm, one in my yard would be nice) : )

I hope your weekend includes a walk, some reflection and a little passion flower.

Have a blessed weekend!

Love, Kim

XO